TheRealCanadianBoys

SCENE 83 INT. Morning. PICTOU is hard at work, taking down lecture notes in his exercise book, when STEWIACKE and friends suddenly barge into the room. STEWIACKE picks up a marker pen and scrawls “Pictou is a stinx!” on the whiteboard. PICTOU gasps as he stares at the insult, causing him to relieve himself, releasing ammonia into the air. MRS. BALSEY (to STEWIACKE and friends) Hey! Shoo! Out! (She flips her arms up to ward them off.) PICTOU (arising from his chair) Uh, Mrs. Balsey? MRS. BALSEY Yes, Pictou? PICTOU (politely) May I go to the bathroom, please? I need to change myself. MRS. BALSEY Alright. PICTOU (noddin

FERNIE Black. Goes snowboarding. Goes to the Canadian Skiing Resort every single day of the week to go sliding down the snowboarding slopes at very high speed, not feeling any kind of fear at all. For practising, he goes to the Canadian Winter Sports Centre, where he whooshes down the artificial snowboarding slopes very rapidly, feeling very gallant. Aspires to be a professional snowboarder at the Winter Olympics. FLIN FLON ‘Collects’ maple syrup. Cuts his maple trees’ trunks daily, using his very sharp kitchen knife, and then hangs aluminium buckets below the gashes to collect the maple sap underneath. Then, he boils the

New Brunswick: Hey Nova Scotia, I love you so much... Nova Scotia: Oh wow, thanks, Bonnie. New Brunswick: ...that I named one of my towns after you! Nova Scotia: (surprised, blushing a little) Oh really?! (Yep, there's a town in New Brunswick called New Scotland... which literally means Nova Scotia... if you catch my drift.)